Last night was my wife’s first night back to work after being out of work for maternity leave. We now have six kids, so I have to confess that I was rather nervous. One would think that after doing this several times it would get easier, but actually it gets more difficult each time. Taking care of an almost 3 month old in addition to 5 other kids is no easy task, so I think my anxiety was somewhat justified.One of the things I was worried about was the thought that the baby probably wouldn’t sleep so well with mama not being around. Our last kid had this very issue up until she was over a year old. I spent many nights up with her while sending my wife not so nice text messages throughout the night. Being tired and needing sleep through the night is one thing, its a whole different animal the next day when you have other little ones needing to be fed, diapered, chased, and loved. Tired daddies are usually grumpy daddies, and unfortunately I am often a good example of this.
Last night though, the baby slept quite well. I on the other hand did not. I’m not quite sure, but perhaps it had to do with that anxiety I just mentioned. I kept listening for every little peep, hoping I wouldn’t hear anything, yet getting nervous when I didn’t. It was a no win for me and sleep last night.
Finally, about 3:30 AM the baby decided to give me something to do and woke up to be fed. As I was sitting there feeding him and wondering if I would be able to make myself sleepy it hit me…”Tonight would’ve been a really good night to spend the night in prayer.”
Usually when I have these sleepless nights I just spend the night doing everything I can think of to make myself sleepy. I suppose there are times where this might be the best course of action. But maybe those sleepless nights, for whatever reason they are sleepless, might be great nights to spend some extra quiet time with God. In our hectic and busy world quiet time isn’t that easy to come by…Maybe those long nights as opposed to being annoyances are actually God’s gracious provision and an invitation into his presence. The Apostle Paul urges us to “pray without ceasing”…I have to confess, I’ve never been very good at this. As one who enjoys and feels called to tell others and preach about Jesus, I’d like to say that my prayer life is an example to others. The fact is, I can’t say that. I sometimes struggle in prayer. Sure I go through seasons of intense prayer…but I also go through times when I get so bogged down in life that prayer gets neglected. I think many of us go through similar periods. Prayer must be a priority in the life of the Christian. A healthy prayer life is a necessity for a healthy Christian. I think this explains my periodic spiritual anemia.
Early this AM however I was given a divine appointment with the Great Physician. I had sweet fellowship with the Lord as I meditated on Psalm 32. As opposed to dragging first thing this morning, being tired and grumpy…My heart is full. It appears my sleepless night was just what my soul needed. I think Jesus knew what He was doing when he himself spent many nights and early mornings alone in prayer while others were sleeping.
Perhaps the next time something is keeping you up, instead of begrudging the sleeplessness, you should see it as an invitation to the throne of grace. Yes, in Christ we have an open invitation…but every now and again, I think we need a reminder. Perhaps that’s what these nights are for. Just a thought.
Now I need a nap.